My Inner Mean Girl

I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN that I have the ability to be the most vindictive person on the planet. The creativity that goes into my revenge fantasies when someone does me wrong can be terrifying. I'd like to think that I don't hold grudges but every once in a while there is a perfect storm and my inner mean girl emerges.

This weekend she made an appearance and I can't decide if I feel guilty or if my indifference to the situation is acceptable. Hopefully we will figure that out by the end of my rant. So, let's introduce the players...

Remember when I had that Girl Friend Break Up back in 2011? I just cut this girl out of my life, she wasn't healthy for herself so it definitely wasn't healthy for me. Well, I ran into her a few weeks ago on Mother's Day. It had been almost two years since any real exchange had taken place between us. In our brief encounter we established that life was going really well. She was in a job she liked and had worked at for the last year and a half. She was doing well with one of her two babies daddy's but was successfully juggling single mom of 2. She was in the same little duplex and seemed very content with her life plan to eventually make it to nursing school. When she suggested we hang out some time, I thought it would be nice to reconnect.

Now, I believe it is important to know that this girl has a tendency to say a lot of angry hurtful things when she is mad. I have been on the receiving end of one of her tongue lashings and things have never been the same. Even when we were friends, I still didn't trust her too much with anything that made me vulnerable to her. The words "you are letting your ex-husband's girlfriend raise your daughter" as a criticism of my parenting skills was not only laughably false but the most hateful thing someone could thing to say. For me, words last forever. I forgive but they are impossible to forget.

So two weekends ago, we go to the park with the girls. This marks the first time I have stepped foot into her house since the Summer of 2011. The first warning sign, you can't walk through the front door. When I walk into her little side door I am greeted with a mountain of dishes in the sink and a mess that can be compared to the beginning stages of hoarding. She obviously is apologetic about the mess and the sticky fly paper hanging above the sink collecting the fruit fly infestation. I also notice the pile of laundry baskets and clothing literally half way up the front door. Sure 'nuff, you couldn't open that thing with a one of those things a SWAT team would use to break down your door.

The day goes fine, I offer to cook chicken at my house for dinner so the girls can play. We have a conversation about work, goals and life plans. She confesses she doesn't really like her job but wouldn't want to give it up because she is now established in a hospital. She isn't sure when nursing school will happen but probably not until her youngest starts pre-k in two years. I tell her to just keep grinding forward.

Two days later, she has quit her job and is heading to OKC to visit some high school flame who wants to marry her and give her the life she has never had (that is almost a direct quote). I get off the call sort of perplexed with how in 4 weeks she can digress from seemingly put together to this.

This week, Thursday I have a little too much fun and decide working remotely on my Friday is a good idea. So I want a cheeseburger for breakfast and think to myself, who can go eat a cheeseburger at 10am on a Friday? This girl! Call her up, she answers the phone laying in this mutual friend of ours bed. Tells me about her night which makes mine look like a bible study and thinks cheeseburgers are a great idea.

I roll over to the dudes house because I know him just as well as she does... He is a cutie and I am in shock that they stayed the night together. When I get there, he is cool and she is telling endless stories of baby daddy drama. I think to myself, this guy is hot, single, fun and funny... Why should he be off limits because this girl who I am not even that close to got wasted with him last night. Even if they made out, he's still fair game.

In the interest of good sportsmanship I make this thought process known, she thinks I am kidding. I half ass was but before we leave the house, I have this guy wearing a wedding ring pretending we are married.

The day and night go down hill from here. I remain fun and low key, every person who crosses ol' girls path gets a slice of her dramatic life story. I didn't even have to do anything to become the most desirable female in the room, she did it for me. He and I actually make plans for the next weekend before the sun goes down. I straight up took him from her... In fact at one point she said, "I am not sure how I woke up in his bed this morning and you are married to him." My response was classic! "I'm good at closing deals... that's why I am good at my job."

The moments of tension that arise between her and I are squashed and come out unscathed. It was mean though. If it were a girl friend I respected and thought this guy might have a genuine interest in, I never would have done it. Honestly, I felt like I was doing him a favor. You really think an unemployed single mother of two with no leads on school or a new job, that is fighting with one ex over custody who is literally married to a girl that was a lesbian before they met and between them they are expecting kid number 9, yes, NINE and the other ex fresh out of rehab for a drug and alcohol addiction he has battled for the better part of 15 years. Aside from the fact she can't help but only talk of dramatic conflicts in her past and present... Is this really the kind of girl you would let even an acquaintance get involved with? Let alone a high school buddy, you run into all the time and find attractive. I mean... What was I to do?

The bridge between her and I may be a little bit crispy. For the first time I can take the blame. She never would have dreamed I would have swooped in like that on someone she was blatantly interested in and I am a little surprised at myself for doing it. In the end, I am not sure the boy is going to be worth it but the friendship isn't really worth it either. Regardless, I have a date on Friday night and had a blast this weekend.