I hate that I do this! Hate! Hate! Hate it!!! I need to write. Writing gives me clarity. It is a way I work through issues. It is how I cope with my inability to over communicate my every little thought to whomever I please. I need to write, it keeps me sane. Not to mention there is A LOT of B.S. that I have dealt with in the last 3 years that I wish I would have written about, not just for me, but in case I ever decide to put my promiscuous past out there, and get some readers.
The common theme in all my blog posts, is I am learning something. I have grown and changed so much since starting my inconsistent rants in the form of blog posts 10 years ago. I have changed so freaking much from the girl who could fall in love and get dumped all in the course of a month. I have matured! Damn it!! But truthfully I have struggled. I have dealt with things in my relationship, with my kid, with my ex husband, with my partners kid, with his ex wife, with his ex girlfriends, with his entire past, with my friends. I have ended girl friendships and began new friendships. I have dealt with work changes, and starting a business. Moving. I mean a lot has happened in 3 years.
So rather than start a new blog or, try to catch you up on the emotional roller coaster that is life. I think I will just commit, now, right now, to writing more often.
I think about writing all the time! Because I have A LOT to say!!! It is time. Time to commit to this little blog of mine and work through my next life chapter of big decisions right here in front of the screen.
Since we are in the last week of September, my house and my fridge are oozing fall scents, decor, and baked goods! I thought why not start right now, why wait for the momentous occasion of January 1st to start new habits and set new goals for the year. Let's get this ball rolling on September 26th. FOUR official days BEFORE the start of 4th quarter! BOOM!
My world has changed some much in some ways and not at all in others, since the last time I wrote. Like I am still in the same job. Almost 8 years in Telecommunications sales and 6 years in my Senior Account role handling Enterprise Accounts. So, I still have quotas, customer issues, sales goals, workplace drama - some controllable, some not. I am still raising my tiny terrorist angel baby princess love of my life. She is no longer little, she is almost driving, in high school, and worried about boys.
But some things have changed, I have been with my Significant Other for 3 years on October 1st. We spent the first almost two years in a long distance relationship before he moved to Tulsa to be with me full time. That move required building a business with sustainable work for him here, that made it make sense for him to abandon the 20+ years he had been based in Kansas. It has been a long, hard road. It has been ugly. It has been difficult, I have given up more times than I care to count. But it has also been rewarding and for the first time in my adult life, i have a true partner in all things. He is active in helping me raise the princess. He is a part of my family. He puts up with my crazy. Most, if not all of which is directed at him. Some of it deserved, most of it deserved, but some of it not.
I have cut ties with female friends whose worlds and life goals no longer are parallel to mine. I have abandoned people that just didn't feel like they were a part of my picture long term. I have leaned heavy on those relationships that have already lasted a lifetime. I have learned to appreciate the people who really strive to be a part of my tribe.
So, new year, new goals, new thoughts and feelings. It is all starting here TODAY! So, what do I want to accomplish in the next 12 - 15 months and 4 days? Man, I don't know.
I want to blog more. I want to write. Write about life and love. But I also want some more structure in my blogging. I created an LLC earlier in the year called The Kitchen Witch. I have all these big ideas for it, but I have done nothing with it. I think I may start a lifestyle blog, work that in there.
I want to take better care of myself physically and mentally. I am on the weight gaining side of my ever existent battle with my appearance. I would like to be more mindful about not eating my feelings, working out, and taking generally better care of myself.
I want to read more. There are so many authors, bloggers, and people with great messages. I want to dive into that and feed my mind with more than just mindless garbage on Facebook. I eventually want to become one of these people. It has always been a dream of mine to write a book. Possibly, a novel.
I want to get into event planning and weddings. I love weddings. I want to really sink my teeth into my creative side. I need to actually finish the furniture projects cluttering my garage. I need to make great things and get rid of them!
I want to be better at documenting my traveling in some way. We are so blessed to experience so much in the world, and i want to be better about sharing that... Maybe here, maybe else where.
I want to heal some family divides. Address some wounds and hurt in my personal relationships. I want to do my part to get past the PTSD of my past and be a better version of myself in the future.
I want to do a lot... But today I will start with this little blog post. Tomorrow... Maybe I will write another one....
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