I GREW UP IN A FIRE STATION. My dad was class of 1990 joining the Tulsa Fire Department when I was 6 years old. He has 30 years of "Fighting Fires and Saving Lives" come this next February and is considering retirement.
My dad and I have always had an interesting relationship. We are pretty similar which has led to some pretty major clashes over the years but one thing that has always been consistent is how proud I am to be his #1 baby girl.
I loved the station as a kid. Heck, I loved it as an adult. I would go weekly if not more to have lunch or dinner with him and the guys. I got in water fights with firefighter, learned to play Texas hold 'em, got to watch HBO because we didn't have it at home growing up. I knew the station phone number by heart from the time he joined and actually recited it accurately this last week.
Some of my favorite memories and close friends are Fireman. More than one car emergency has been handled by an Engine from a nearby station. Water to my house turned off when a pipe busted, there were even a few that helped me move out of my first husbands house at 22 and into my own apartment.
The one rule I have always had for myself was I WILL NEVER DATE A FIREMAN. It wasn't because they were bad guys, although I knew a few of them to be less than desirable life partners at moments of their lives. It wasn't that my dad didn't want me to, he has never told me who to date or been overly involved in my love life. I just never wanted him to have to hear about his little girl dating a co worker in the big fraternity that is the Fire Department.
Well wouldn't you know 30 years in a fire station and saying hi to more firefighters than I can count, I am breaking my own rule.
I met him at the Farmers Market. It was cute. We started talking, he is from a station downtown. Turns out we had some mutual friends. In fact, one of the aforementioned Firefighters that moved me out of my Fabulous Ex Husbands house at the ripe age of 22 worked closely with him, so I had a way to vet him.
He knew my dad and told a story of how they had a joke about "back when they were Navy Seals" at the station they both worked at several years back. So I decided to let the conversations continue and check him out.
The first call was to the mutual friend. He let me know that this was a GOOD GUY. Like a really good guy. I said to him "You know me! I only date assholes!" "What am I going to do with a god guy?" Sadly this was a pretty serious question... To which the response was "You need to date this guy, this is going to be a good change, this will be good for you." So with that advice from a trusted buddy, I decided i was going to see where this went.
My next convo, had to be with my father. Telling things to my good buddy, is kind of like taking out a billboard and announcing it to all who will listen. So instead of my dear old dad hearing this from anyone else, i figured it would be best to tell him myself.
"Dad, do you know, the Firefighter?"
"Well, yes. We both worked at station 23 but I don't know him well, why?..."
"I think I am going to date him."
"I have never told you who you can and cannot date, I am not going to start now. I hear he is a good guy and I just want you to be happy. "
That was easy...
So I am a few weeks in on dating a really good guy and I have to tell you it is unlike anything I have ever experienced.
Its considerate, he communicates well, he wants me to be healthy and happy. HE rubs my back and kisses my forehead. It isn't all about sex in fact that is even less of a focus for us than with anyone else. Don't get me wrong the attracting is insane and he is incredible. But it's conversations about growing up, raising kids, losing his parents, past relationships, future plans. Goals, dreams. He makes me want to keep a cleaner house, make the bed, get back in shape, drink less, work harder at my career, be better with money, focus on a future and what i contribute instead of what I can gain from my partner. He isn't overcompensating for lies and cheating. He just is who he is and I have never been in anything like this.
It is a struggle for me to not want to be all in, but for the first time in my life, I want to be patient. I want to let it develop. I want to see how we do with all the first seasons. I am facing some health issues and I don't want to burden him with that, but I also appreciate his support as I navigate through some pretty heavy stuff.
He is just a good good man. For the first time ever, it isn't presents and trips, fancy dinners and binge drinking. It's baseball games, dinner with my parents, swimming laps for hours, encouraging him as he trains for another Iron Man. Setting goals for myself of mini triathlons. Running and having sore muscles. Weekend nights without wine. Healthy cooking, interesting conversations, and a love of nature and history. He impresses me. He makes me believe I could be happy with a whole lot less. That i spent a lot of time dating narcissistic assholes until I finally found a man that was worth living up to my full potential for because he deserves nothing less.
I wanted to write today, sitting at the lake while he ran his few miles and biked for 2 hours. Because this is my love. This is what I want in the future, these are my goals to write, share my stories. Let you all know about how I struggled and then how I survived. I wanted to document the beginning because I am so excited about a future with this one.
But I always am... so as always.... We shall see.
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