Houston, We Have A Problem!

I am not a big fan of Houston,TX. Just the name gives me anxiety. This is most likely attributed to Mr. Toilet's "cancer" in 2008. He would visit "Houston" at least once sometimes twice a month. Although it wasn't cancer it was another girlfriend and it wasn't in Houston, it was Albuquerque.

So New Guy is heading to Houston today for his Great Uncle's Surprise 90th Birthday Party. His father and uncle are already down there. He is just going for one maybe two nights. We are not in a place where this should bother me but it is driving me nuts.

Which brings me to my need to write today. I need to give New Guy the benefit of the doubt without being blind to anything he could be doing. I like what he and I have, I just need to trust that he isn't stringing me along to pass the time until the person he really wants to be with is ready for him.

How ridiculous is this fear? He says Houston and I automatically assume some elaborate lie to stay in Tulsa and meet up with his most recent ex. He wouldn't want me to know because he hasn't decided what he actually wants. The saddest part is this has played out, in my real life, count it, FOUR times, each one varying slightly and two of them using Houston.

New Guy and I have logged quite a few hours of relationship time over the past several weeks. There are real emotions and feelings getting involved at this point. I would be disappointed if he decided he didn't want to see me anymore and I would be hurt if he was seeing other people. But am I creating an attachment to him prematurely? Are we still in this limbo of getting to know each other, with no strings attached, and should I be more guarded?

I think he gets me, and my crazy. I think he wouldn't want to ruin our chances at least at a friendship by deceiving me. I think he is honest to a fault and if there was another agenda or another person he would tell me. But then again, I have thought this all before and been completely wrong.

I want New Guy to actually be the person I think he is, not just the next story in my laughable love life. I want him to be better than those who came before him.