I HAVEN'T WRITTEN HERE IN SO LONG I kind of forgot what this blog was all about... That's not entirely true... It was an online diary of heartbreak and hopefulness. I have written (inconsistently) for the last 15 years.
In that time, I have dated, fallen in like, in lust, and in love. I have gotten married and swiftly divorced. I have lived with a sex addict and tried to fix him with unconditional acceptance and therapy - neither worked. I have been abused, emotionally, mentally, and physically. I took over a year off dating and worked on my codependent attachment issues and healing. That "season of solitude" was the hardest, greatest gift I ever gave myself... which led me here.
Healthy. Happy. Stable. And in my FOREVER Relationship.
So why write now? What do I have to share?
I really don't know... It has been on my heart to write on this blog again. To give new perspective to old pain and maybe share a little wisdom that came with lessons learned the hard way, and age. Now seems good because my daughter is in college, secure in her self worth and my dating stories will be less embarrassing to her now than as a teenager.
Maybe because I want to talk to the lost girl desperately trying to find a way to give love but doing it in all the wrong ways to all the wrong people and let her know... This is something you can change. This is something you can overcome just like you have every heartbreaking romance since you were 16. I want to let her know there is a way to heal, to become who you want to be, to find love everywhere in your life that is NOT a romantic relationship and when you do... The good stuff isn't far behind.
That Forever Relationship I mentioned, it is real. We are actually as happy in real life as we look on Instagram. We communicate well, we love and support, and forgive. We are patient with each other, and a team above all else. We share a life and we love every minute of it... well most minutes because after all we are human. But this person, he is really it for me and he has seen me, known me, and loves all the pieces of me. Even the broken ones I still consistently work at putting back together.
I think now I want to write from a place of understanding that it took a lot of work to get to a place where I was ready for the love I was looking for... I stopped looking, because I had always had it. That love was always in me. And I am confident, it is in you too.
