The Rubber Band Effect

Why do men have to be so damn predictable? Last Sunday afternoon New Guy and I were talking about our busy week ahead and how our schedules had both of us busy every night. I made some snide remark about maybe next week. Then, went into how maybe this forced separation would stave off the "Rubber Band Effect" that was sure to hit some time next week. Confused, he asked what I meant so I explained:
          The Rubber Band Effect happens in relationships where you start out with a great connection, great chemistry, wanting to be around each other all the time and then BAM! Something changes. The relationship all of a sudden slows down (or comes to a screeching halt). The guy does this retreat into his own camp using some version of the 'too much to quick' excuse. The women often responds with more pressure and wanting to talk about it, trying to maintain the established routine or see even more of the man which pushes him further away until... Rubber band Breaks.

New Guy "has never noticed this trend in his relationships" and is quick to offer assurance of his feelings. Plans change, the week frees up and we end up together... A lot. Talking all the time, seeing each other almost everyday, hanging with our kids together. It was a lot. He doesn't go out of town Saturday but makes plans with the guys, which is totally fine. I wanted to see my Champagne Drinking Best Friend anyway! But I can tell, it is the beginning of the Rubber Band Effect. 


So here we are Sunday, and our 14 phone calls a day have been 2 and our 40 texts have been 3, both initiated by me. He is in full pull away mode... Combination of justifications going on in his head but really this is par for the course. My mind races between, he has met someone new or is freaking out about how committed this relationship feels already. 


My urge is to call and address this change in behavior. This urge is wrong and will surely get me kicked to the curb, maybe not immediately but on my way. So, I am trying to follow the advice I give my girlfriends but some how rarely manage to listen to myself. I am leaving him the hell alone! 

If he wants to talk to me he will call. He is guy, a guy who likes you will make time for you. With this renewed since of 'he needs to chase me' comes the beginning of my emotional detachment. I don't want to drive myself insane thinking about what he is thinking or doing. I automatically go to dealing with it as if it is over. I know, it sounds extreme, and I know it isn't over. But it is easier to sort of move past him than to wait around until he decides to come back. 


I hate this game. I hate this theory, and how it is always correct and right on schedule. Three Weeks= Rubber band 


I will let you know when New Guy comes back (they always come back) or if he gets a nickname, Mr. Baseball perhaps and I move on to the next possible love of my life.