The Great Debate On If We Should Date!

I am selfish. I can admit that I do not like to share, and I really don't like to share men. So from first kiss on, I am pretty much expecting to be the only women consuming a man's free time. This is not necessarily a realistic expectation, regardless it is mine. So on Day 7 of the new guy I decide to tell him about this... This was a HUGE mistake and spawned The Great Debate on If We Should Date!


The way this all got started was Facebook... O Sweet Relationship Devil Facebook how you taunt me. So I post this hilarious little ditty on New Guy's wall referencing our plans to "stay in tonight." He deletes this post and calls me. He says something about work people on his FB and not wanting to broadcast his personal life, that his posts were usually intended to be light hearted and funny not to personal. He knows this bothers me but I fake a smile and we hang up.


The little gears in my head are spinning into an over analytical paranoid haze. This simple act and explanation is consuming me. My thought is, you don't care about work, there is some one else on your FB that you don't want to have to explain yourself too. This could be the Crazy Ex that has yet to enter the picture although I am sure she exists, or the last long term girlfriend you are still "friends" with, but it isn't work. So in an effort to fully disclose where I am at, I call him back and the conversation goes something like this:


Me: "Hey! New Guy, that bothers me more than I thought it would"
New Guy: "Ok, Let's talk about it."
Me: "You are very possibly telling me the truth about your reasons behind deleting my post, but this is one of those situations where I don't believe you. Regardless, I want you to know something about me."
New Guy: (Really Hesitant) "Okaaaay..."
Me: " I know my insecurities and where they are derived from; one of the major ones is not wanting to be one of a few girls you are "seeing." I want to be with a guy who understands the mass amount of deception and manipulation I have endured over the past few years and will not feed these insecurities. Basically, if you decide for whatever reason you want to go out with someone else, then you have also made the decision you do not want to go out with me."
New Guy: "I need to process this, let's talk more about it later."
Me: "Ok."


Later that Day....


New Guy: "So I've processed and I don't think it is fair for you to ask for an exclusive commitment after a week. I am not prepared to tell you that I wont see other people."
Me: "Honey, I am not asking for a commitment, I am just telling you what will happen if you do decide to see other people."
NG: "But that is completely unfair to put that ultimatum out there. I get why you are doing it and I understand that you are just trying to protect yourself  but it just seems like an outlandish request."
Me:  "Aren't I suppose to be protecting myself, I am right out of crazy relationship. You know I am dealing and healing as well as trying to get to know a build something with you. But if you want to take the chance and get to know someone else, then I don't want to continue with you."
NG: "I really like you, and I am not actively pursuing anyone else, and in 90 Days, if you want to have this conversation and decide if we are going to date, I can do that, but not after a week."
Me: "Ok I am not telling you that you are tied to me, I am not telling you not to go, if you want to go out with someone else, just know that I no longer will want to go out with you."
NG: "I have a headache, come over for dinner later, we can talk about this more then."


That evening... Dinner was great he declined to talk about it when I brought it up while drinking wine over the fire. That was a really nice moment and a great conversation about our upbringings ensued instead. After I am several glasses in and the PG-13 makeout session has commenced, he decides we need to talk about this elephant in the room. Great.


We get into it still disagreeing and he makes some comment about wasting my time, if I put this on him, because he cannot say he wont have drinks or lunch or something with someone else. I say fine, it gets to me leaving and him saying so I guess this is it at the door and I stop. I say you know what, we have planned this night for 2 days and I have had more than a bottle of wine. I am not driving home and we are going to talk about this tomorrow, in the light of day when I am sober. He protests, saying it isn't a good idea and then his phone vibrates behind me. A text from the most recent ex. He says they started out as friends and have now ended up as friends. I don't have the energy to care. We go to bed.


The next day the issue is unresolved so doing what I do best I write him an email. I address my concern with the ex texting and the suspicious time line of him thinking it was best I go. Feeds right into my theory over the deleted fb post. I tell him I like him and I want to see where this goes so I will take what he refers to as my ultimatum off the table.


So here is the question: Am I an idiot? Or is my gut about the ex a product of the 'love of my life' having a girlfriend in another state or Mr. Taco breaking up with me to take back his Glenn Close ex-girlfriend? It really has only been a week, I regret bringing it up, should this bother me at all?