Time to Blog

I want to start a blog but not one of those ‘my life is that of a Disney Princess’ blog. More of a ‘my life is ridiculous and a touch out of control so maybe if I put it in writing I can gain a little perspective’ kind of blogs.

Don’t get me wrong I like my little world. I love my champagne drinking best friends and my hilarious little girl. I find humor in my laughable love life and my awesome family.
I think it is time I write things down. Get'em out there, think about it, have you laugh with (or at) me. It is time to blog.

The past several years have yielded some pretty unbelievable stories but what finally prompted the need for a little talk therapy (I totally just googled the Psychology of Blogging- more on that later) would be my most recent love interest. The Horrific Tale of Mr. MexicanFood. We will call him that as an attempt disguise his identity so as not to get me sued or stalked (again).

Mr. MexicanFood had all the makings of a standard disastrous relationship for me. By all accounts I date a very specific type: Older (like 15ish years), Successful (generally owning your own company), Divorced (with a crazy ex- that may not be your wife), and a Parent (no negative connotations there). Basically if you are a middle aged, narcissistic, a-hole, business owner in the greater Tulsa area I am probably the girl of your dreams for at least 3 weeks.

Mr. MexicanFood fit the criteria to a T. So why would I continue the same idiotic relationship that I have failed at with Mr. Jewelry, Mr. Concrete, Mr. Toilets, Mr. Cowboy, Mr. Electricity, and now Mr. MexicanFood. I do not know… That is why I am here, blogging.

All starts out the same… Boy meets Girl, Boy loves Girl and yes, I mean love. I get these idiots falling so fast my head spins at how quickly we are naming babies. Once, I am convinced they love me, because they are usually telling me so frequently, I allow myself to become consumed with their life. I sort of leave mine in whatever stage of disarray it was in and become their “personal assistant”. Making every moment of every day as simple as possible… It’s like I think Super Mom is a real job. We can thank Mr. Toilet for really honing in on this talent. Then something happens… It’s too much to quick, a crazy ex makes our lives so hellish that their crazy becomes my crazy, or they just decide to start sleeping with someone new. Regardless of how, most likely a combination of all three, it ends just as quickly as it began and I am heartbroken and dumbfounded that I have allowed this to happen to me…. AGAIN!
Well not with Mr. MexicanFood, the moment my phone rang at 11pm on a Wednesday night after several hours of uncharacteristic radio silence and the words “I haven’t been completely honest with you…” came out of his mouth. I didn’t think ‘wow, why is the happening to me?’ I thought ‘Damn. I saw this coming!’ I knew it! I knew it! I TOTALLY KNEW IT!!! I knew it was happening… it was time for him to fess up to the lies and the other girlfriend. I wasn’t surprised. I was calm. I’ve been here before… a few times and it wasn’t anger or sadness it was alright, I am going back to bed now. Thanks for waking me for this… I will address my feelings later.

When I look at it I am more mad at myself for reliving this cycle of codependency than I am that this guy lied, cheated, and broke up with me. I'm mad at me for being in this situation. There is no use in blaming him. This is my pattern of behavior. I am the one who has to stop choosing this kind of man to allow into my heart... Now, how do I go about that?...